Macne Nana / English Star of the Show [Original Song]
Original upload date: September 3, 2016 on YT

fun fact of the day nana is signing "lesbian" in asl in this picture

that wasn't intentional at first, but honestly? now it is

anywho i wrote a song about impostor syndrome and how that works combined with being put on a pedestal as an online creator! but i want to add some commentary because i feel like the way i went about writing that subject was very... not well executed

i'm only explaining my intent in this description because i do want people to understand that i've never intentionally set out to hurt anyone, but of course intent doesn't change how people feel about something! this isn't meant as an excuse, just an explanation. i was (and still am) experiencing being put on a pedestal, where some view me as totally perfect, immune to criticism, even more worthy of living than others? and while that's not a comfortable experience for anyone, it especially doesn't mix well with low self-esteem and impostor syndrome. this isn't a "i hate all my fans" song at all, because i really do appreciate everyone here! it's more of a "i wish people didn't think so highly of me cus i don't deserve it" song - despite that though i can TOTALLY understand why people interpreted it as the former, because hoo boy did i not put this subject into words well for the lyrics (for example "you make too much noise" was referencing how performers say "make some noise" at concerts to encourage applause, but like........ BUDDY nobody's gonna get that LMAO)

it's also true that extreme-idolizers are just a vocal minority - i didn't realize just how exaggerated i had perceived that at the time. while i still heavily struggle with impostor syndrome, i don't agree with the perspective of this song at all, and i really apologize to anyone i hurt with the message of the lyrics. i regret handling the subject when i didn't understand it more maturely. i can promise my perspective on this whole topic has changed completely since writing this song!